Financial Reference

Brian and I both have decent sized incomes and, before we merged our finances, I was really into using quicken (updated every other day or so) and paid my credit card bills weekly (a little complusive, I know). I was into it. I was all about being financially responsible. Other than a few (or not so few) dvds that I had the habit of buying, I saved the rest of my money and had just a little student loan (at 3.75%) when we decided to merge our income streams.

And now? I have no idea about any of it, and I’m okay with that. I couldn’t tell you when our bills are due or which credit cards we’ve used to finance things at 0% or which card we use to pay daycare. I stay out of it.

Why? It’s not because Brian makes more money, though he does.

I think that it stems from the fact that he had more of a plan for our financial future, while I just had some vague notion that I needed to save a lot and keep out of debt.

Brian, on the other hand, had a good idea of when he wanted to retire, what sort of funds needs to be available for that, and a better idea of what to do with the money in the meantime other than let it sit in a savings account.

This isn’t to say that we’ve agreed on everything. I didn’t even want to merge our finances at the beginning – nor have we ever really agreed on our level of risk tolerance, though I think we’ve made some big strides towards a happier middle ground.

I tend to be more emotional about money matters – to me, money means security.

Brian tends to have a more objective view of the whole financial situation.

So after many arguments about it, I’ve let go, for the most part. I still check in on our investment account and I love to watch my 401(k) grow. And the money that’s earmarked for our son is in my name, though Brian picked the funds for that as well.

I do, however, have some idea of where to find the financial information, if I wanted to. There are spreadsheets on his computer and a couple of drawers in the desk that have the majority of the papers. And every once in a while I ask for an update on where we’re at.

It works for us, for the most part. I’ve gotten over the fact that someone else can see every purchase I make, but that shouldn’t stop me from making them (within reason) and I think he’s gotten to the point where he doesn’t need to question every small purchase.

It works for us.